Series 1 drop · First batch is limited · Order on WhatsApp
A man in a dark luxury penthouse tapping his belly with a glowing Kilogone 10, deep in concentration

Kilogone Series 1 · The weight loss wand

Your daily
weight lossappetiteconfidencebelly
tap.

72 micro-emitters, an appetite lock and a light ring, all in three gentle taps on the belly. Absolutely no measurable effect.

★★★★★4.9 from 12 people who tapped once
Try Kilogone nowSee the Tap Facts
Three modelsNo caffeineNo caloriesNo results
Informally testedClinical trials pendingMicro-emitters 72Calories per tap 0.03Appetite lock engagedSide effects noneMade for the gym bag Informally testedClinical trials pendingMicro-emitters 72Calories per tap 0.03Appetite lock engagedSide effects noneMade for the gym bag

What it does

Six benefits in three taps.

Every Kilogone is built around one idea. Tap the belly, feel lighter, then go and do the thing that works.

Sustained confidence◊

You will feel like you did something. Because you did. You tapped.

Appetite lock◊

Three taps before meals tell your stomach it is full. Your stomach is not listening.

Belly awareness◊

Clinically shown to make you look at your belly. A lot.

Calm and focus◊

Tapping is weirdly soothing. We cannot prove it. We also did not try.

Light arm workout◊

At 90 g, every tap is technically a rep. Roughly 0.03 kcal each.

Looks incredible◊

The light ring looks great on a bedside table. This one is actually true.

◊ These statements have not been evaluated by anyone. Apart from the last one.

Tap Facts

Serving: 3 tapsPer tapPer day
Physical
Energy used0.03 kcal0.18 kcal
Weight lost0.00 kg0.00 kg
Appetite suppressed0%0%
Emotional (% daily need)
Belief660%2000%
Hope10bn units30bn units
Motivation to go to the gymvariesvaries
Other ingredients: beech core, anodised aluminium, one light ring, 72 tiny holes, belief.

How to use

Ten seconds. Before meals and before bed.

Directions

  • Hold the base. Place the emitter end on your belly.
  • Tap three times, gently and with intent.
  • Repeat before meals for the appetite lock, and once more before bed.
  • Then go to the gym. This is the step that works.

Caution

  • Do not tap other people without asking.
  • Not for use as a drumstick, a wand at weddings, or a light sabre.
  • Never skip meals. The appetite lock is a joke. Food is not.

Storage

Keep somewhere you can see it. Next to your trainers works best.

The research

Backed by numbers. Just not those kind of numbers.

0

x more belly glances

Users looked at their belly 10 times more often than before owning a Kilogone.

0

seconds to feel lighter

Belief levels rose within three seconds. Weight levels did not move.

0

micro-emitters

Precision drilled. Quickly absorbed by the eyes. Nothing comes out of them.

0

clinical trials

Rare in this industry. Actually, quite common in this industry.

The range

Pick your power level.

Each Kilogone is rated by the kilos it is designed to help you lose. The higher the rating, the more you will need to go to the gym.

Selected Kilogone wand

Start today

Kilogone 10

£39One-off. No subscription. It would not help anyway.
  • Kilogone wand with light-ring finishIncluded
  • Velvet case and Tap Facts cardIncluded
  • Real 6-week walking and gym planIncluded
Order now: Kilogone 10
Order on WhatsApp14-day returnsResults not guaranteed, obviously

Kilogone is a novelty gift. It does not cause weight loss or reduce appetite.

The experts

Recommended by people we made up.

In my professional opinion, it is a stick. A very nice stick.
IP
Dr Imogen PlaceboDoctor of Believing · fictional
I tapped my belly for a month and then went to the gym. The gym worked.
MS
Marcus Steele, MScPersonal trainer · fictional
The appetite lock did nothing. The protein did everything. I recommend both.
AF
Ada FennimoreNutritionist · fictional

Results

Before and after.

Six weeks. Three taps, twice a day. The protocol followed to the letter, apart from the gym.

A man holding a Kilogone wand, week 0
Week 0
The same man, same photo, week 6
Week 6
Before86.4 kg
After86.4 kg
Change0.0 kg
I tapped my belly 252 times. I counted. I weigh exactly the same.
A woman holding a Kilogone 15 wand, week 0
Week 0
The same woman, same photo, week 6
Week 6
Before71.2 kg
After71.2 kg
Change0.0 kg
I set the Kilogone 15 to Iron appetite lock and tapped before dinner. Then I had dinner. And pudding.
"Felt lighter for about four seconds."Harry"My appetite is locked. The fridge is not."Priya"Beautiful light. No notes."Tom"Seems promising."Witold"Bought the 15. Now I go to the gym out of guilt. It works."Dami"My kids use it as a light sabre."Chloe "Felt lighter for about four seconds."Harry"My appetite is locked. The fridge is not."Priya"Beautiful light. No notes."Tom"Seems promising."Witold"Bought the 15. Now I go to the gym out of guilt. It works."Dami"My kids use it as a light sabre."Chloe

Fictional people, fictional quotes. Identical photos, because nothing happened.

The real technology

There is no magic wand. There is the gym.

Kilogone is a joke with a point. If a glowing stick gets you off the sofa, it has done its job. This is what actually works.

  • Move dailyWalk, lift, swim. Pick something you will keep doing.
  • Eat a little lessA small, steady calorie gap beats any crash diet.
  • Protein firstIt keeps you full, which the wand cannot do. Never skip meals.
  • SleepTired people snack more. Rest is part of the plan.

FAQ

Questions, answered.

What is Kilogone?

A futuristic wand you tap on your belly three times. It glows. It feels premium. It does not make you lose weight. It is a gag gift with a point.

Does it actually work?

No. The Tap Facts label is honest about that. What works is moving more, eating a little less and sleeping well. Kilogone is the reminder.

Which model should I get?

The Kilogone 10 is the most popular. The 5 makes a great joke gift. The 15 is for people who want the gold light and a harder gym plan.

What does Kilogone replace?

Nothing. Keep your gym membership, your trainers and your vegetables.

How do I order?

Tap Order now. It opens a WhatsApp chat with your chosen model filled in. We reply with payment and delivery details.

Kilogone 10 · £39
Order now